Tricksters and Me

Today I realized one of the reasons Loki probably picked me: I have a similar "let's shake things up" energy, apparently. I finally put some pieces together today for various reasons, but throughout my life, there have been several groups--all with different purposes, and some simply just groups of friends, on occasion a relationship or two--that have suddenly encountered a ton of silly drama for one reason or another. I now believe it could very well be because there's something about me, even if it's only Loki standing over my shoulder and grinning that goofy grin of his, that eats away at deception and exposes the things that aren't working. Now that I think about it, this has happened to me over and over again, so I don't feel like it's just a coincidence. Just another thing to think about as I move along, I suppose. Perhaps there's more to my affinity for trickster characters, after all. Only time will tell.

Secrecy and Confidence

It's days like this that remind me why it's hard to blog every day: so much has happened in the last twenty-four hours that I don't know where to start. A lot of it, I'm not actually allowed to talk about here, though, which I suppose definitely narrows it down. That's one of the things that bothers me about the Wiccan community, really. The secrecy. Don't get me wrong, I understand the reasoning behind it and will do everything in my power to uphold it, but it makes things so dang difficult! When my parents ask who I'm talking to, for example, I'm forced to say something as vague as "my friend," which only makes them prod more. On occasion, I've had to downright lie to to them to keep from giving away someone's identity as a Witch, and that really bothers me. Especially since one of the things I've been working on is not telling little white lies! But here I am doing that to keep a friend's privacy. Rather a conundrum, don't you think?

Ah, well. Moving on. I'm really starting to sense things again; huzzah! (The Pantheon: phew! Finally!) And I want to share one of the things that I think really helped. It's an affirmation/chant/meditation/spell/whatever you want to call it that I found in The Wicca Cookbook by Jamie Wood and Tara Seefeldt. I think it works for self-confidence, trusting yourself, and, probably, depression (though I haven't tried it for the last).

Look in the mirror, focusing on your right eye. Say:

I love you (your name).
I forgive you for ever thinking you were bad, unworthy, or incapable.
You are innocent.
You are a beautiful child of the universe.
All things are possible.
Success is your divine right.

Say it until you believe it.

I'm Back!

Whoo! After that last post (geeze, over a month ago! Bad Emer, bad!), I bet you thought I'd turned into some slobbering drunk on a street corner somewhere, right? Well, surprise! I'm still here! It's been rather a crazy month, in all honesty. Getting my sea legs in an office job (well, a bloggy job), arguing with Loki over the fact that I want to work with his wives/mistressess/whatever title you want to give to Angrboda and Sigyn, meeting a new spirit guide (if anyone's got information on an Omwa, please shoot me an email), helping to create an Indigo youth group (keep an eye out for a blog for that!), failing miserably at celebrating Esbats, trying to convince my boss (read: my father) time off for Lughnasadh without being overt about it, very slowly picking at my novel, going to the Colorado Renaissance Festival and not letting myself buy anything, reading as many Craft books as I can get my hands on, and helping my sister prepare for college. Oh, yes, and going through a crazy period of doubt that's been driving me crazy and closing up all my sensing chakras, especially my heart chakra, which is the one I always use to sense energies. But I think I'm finally starting to recover from that. Especially given that I just did a mostly accurate empathic reading for my friend, and I'm pretty sure I see a bored trickster god sitting on my desk and rolling his eyes at me.

Ah, well. Enough about the past! Let's talk about the future. I'm hoping to get this monster going again, with daily posts, like I was doing before my rather sudden and accidental hiatus. This will most likely prove interesting, as I'm also starting a blogging job for my father's company that will likely take a lot of time (point in case, it took me almost three hours to finish a single post today). I'm also hoping to start a blog up for the youth group I mentioned, and am meeting with another company on Saturday about the possibility of doing social media for them. Yikes! Which god do I appeal to for more time in the day again?

Birthday Shennanigans

Today, I officially turned 21. Which means I can now have the mead during ritual, and buy wine or mead for my own personal rituals, if I choose to use it. This, of course, makes the men in The Pantheon rather ecstatic. Mabon can be quite the alcoholic (he says "I just love mead!"), Loki comes from a pantheon where everyone drinks basically all the time when they aren't smashing giant skulls, and Ai says he enjoys a good ale as much as anyone. I, on the other hand, am not exactly one for alcohol. Most of the time, I can't stand the taste of it (with the exception of hard cider, surprisingly), and I hate the idea of not being in control of myself. Especially as I try to incorporate more magickal and spiritual work into my mundane life. No point in getting my head all mixed up and then attempting to do something important.

Anyway, enough about that. I also went up to the mountains with my family today, visited some of our old haunts, which was fun. It's always nice to get up into the fresh air and away from the city for a little while. I was terribly tempted to buy a pendulum at a semi-metaphysical shop, but I successfully held myself back. I have one in the mail, after all.

Overall, I'd say this was a rather successful weekend! Thank whatever gods are in charge of wonderful weekends!

Group Rituals Rock

Today I attended my first group ritual ever. It was a Midsummer ritual with Silver Branch, Golden Horn, which is a local Druidic Grove, and I had such a good time. Loki was not pleased that we called upon Thor and Odin and he was too chaotic to come near the sacred space, but that wasn't too bad. At least he didn't start a fight in the middle of the ritual (which I could totally see him doing). As far as first rituals go, this was really simple and really fabulous. And the feast/potluck afterward wasn't bad either! I thoroughly enjoyed being able to sit down with others and talk about things I don't normally get to talk about: the gods, different beliefs, divination, psychic abilities.

I've been a solitary practitioner for six years now, and it's definitely time to start branching out and getting to know others in the community. So, if you're reading this, even if you don't live in Colorado, feel free to drop me a line! Or not, of course, and just feel free to continue reading my ramblings as you see fit.

Tarot Stories and Esbat Poem

Tonight is the Full Strong Moon esbat. Right on the cusp of Midsummer/Litha, and a great time for new beginnings. And tonight I have decided I want to try my hand at writing tarot stories for the minor arcana. I wrote a series earlier this year inspired by the major arcana, but the deck I had did not include detailed images for the minor arcana, only a representation of the number and the suit. My new deck includes the most beautiful pictures on every single card, and they're very inspiring. Wonderful for story sparks.

But for now, I'd like to share a poem I wrote for the last full moon and kept hidden for a while. I'm dedicating it to Ai and Brid, for all their creative help, and Artemis, because she's my wonderful moon goddess. I wish I had more creative title for it, though.


Esbat Poem
Tonight is a night of the Goddess,
The full moon hangs in the sky.
Tonight is a night of the Goddess,
The time for magick draws nigh.

For She lives in us all,
As a spark of divine,
And in Her we all do dwell.
Tonight is a night of the Goddess,
And I'm certain to mark it well.

Today is a day of the God,
Oh, the sun it does light the sky.
Today is a day of the God,
Oh, the time for worship draws nigh.

For He lives in us all,
As a spark of Divine,
And in Him we all do dwell.
Today is a day of the God,
Oh, I'm certain to mark it well.

Now is the time of Bright Spirit,
The stars twinkle in the sky.
Now is the time of Bright Spirit,
The time for great peace draws nigh.

For It lives in us all,
As a spark of divine,
And in It we all do dwell.
Now is the time of Bright Spirit,
Be certain to mark it well.

Dust Bunny Queen II

Remember that post a few days ago about cleaning and getting rid of everything that's not "beautiful, useful or joyful?" It all sounds well and good, doesn't it? Well, I've started attempting to go through some things (aka, the massive mountain of papers and things on my desk), and I've realized it's going to be a lot harder than I thought. Birthday and holiday cards will be my downfall, I'm certain of it. They're so cute (my family is fond of funny cards) and nostalgic that it's hard to just throw them into the recycling bin. It's so easy just to say "oh, they're joyful, so I ought to keep them," but I know that they're clutter, when it comes down to it. After all, when do you really look at/read a card after you initially open it? They just sit in the drawers and take up space. But as soon as I open that envelope again, I get all teary because I remember exactly when I got the card, and who sent it to me. Yes, I get emotional easily, don't tell Mabon.

I told myself that I would read them again and throw them in the recycling bin. And they sat there for a good ten minutes before I rescued them. I'm so hopeless. It's only going to get worse when I hit the drawers where I've been keeping my manuscript and various writing for ages. Oh, Goddess help me.