Tricksters and Me

Today I realized one of the reasons Loki probably picked me: I have a similar "let's shake things up" energy, apparently. I finally put some pieces together today for various reasons, but throughout my life, there have been several groups--all with different purposes, and some simply just groups of friends, on occasion a relationship or two--that have suddenly encountered a ton of silly drama for one reason or another. I now believe it could very well be because there's something about me, even if it's only Loki standing over my shoulder and grinning that goofy grin of his, that eats away at deception and exposes the things that aren't working. Now that I think about it, this has happened to me over and over again, so I don't feel like it's just a coincidence. Just another thing to think about as I move along, I suppose. Perhaps there's more to my affinity for trickster characters, after all. Only time will tell.

Secrecy and Confidence

It's days like this that remind me why it's hard to blog every day: so much has happened in the last twenty-four hours that I don't know where to start. A lot of it, I'm not actually allowed to talk about here, though, which I suppose definitely narrows it down. That's one of the things that bothers me about the Wiccan community, really. The secrecy. Don't get me wrong, I understand the reasoning behind it and will do everything in my power to uphold it, but it makes things so dang difficult! When my parents ask who I'm talking to, for example, I'm forced to say something as vague as "my friend," which only makes them prod more. On occasion, I've had to downright lie to to them to keep from giving away someone's identity as a Witch, and that really bothers me. Especially since one of the things I've been working on is not telling little white lies! But here I am doing that to keep a friend's privacy. Rather a conundrum, don't you think?

Ah, well. Moving on. I'm really starting to sense things again; huzzah! (The Pantheon: phew! Finally!) And I want to share one of the things that I think really helped. It's an affirmation/chant/meditation/spell/whatever you want to call it that I found in The Wicca Cookbook by Jamie Wood and Tara Seefeldt. I think it works for self-confidence, trusting yourself, and, probably, depression (though I haven't tried it for the last).

Look in the mirror, focusing on your right eye. Say:

I love you (your name).
I forgive you for ever thinking you were bad, unworthy, or incapable.
You are innocent.
You are a beautiful child of the universe.
All things are possible.
Success is your divine right.

Say it until you believe it.

I'm Back!

Whoo! After that last post (geeze, over a month ago! Bad Emer, bad!), I bet you thought I'd turned into some slobbering drunk on a street corner somewhere, right? Well, surprise! I'm still here! It's been rather a crazy month, in all honesty. Getting my sea legs in an office job (well, a bloggy job), arguing with Loki over the fact that I want to work with his wives/mistressess/whatever title you want to give to Angrboda and Sigyn, meeting a new spirit guide (if anyone's got information on an Omwa, please shoot me an email), helping to create an Indigo youth group (keep an eye out for a blog for that!), failing miserably at celebrating Esbats, trying to convince my boss (read: my father) time off for Lughnasadh without being overt about it, very slowly picking at my novel, going to the Colorado Renaissance Festival and not letting myself buy anything, reading as many Craft books as I can get my hands on, and helping my sister prepare for college. Oh, yes, and going through a crazy period of doubt that's been driving me crazy and closing up all my sensing chakras, especially my heart chakra, which is the one I always use to sense energies. But I think I'm finally starting to recover from that. Especially given that I just did a mostly accurate empathic reading for my friend, and I'm pretty sure I see a bored trickster god sitting on my desk and rolling his eyes at me.

Ah, well. Enough about the past! Let's talk about the future. I'm hoping to get this monster going again, with daily posts, like I was doing before my rather sudden and accidental hiatus. This will most likely prove interesting, as I'm also starting a blogging job for my father's company that will likely take a lot of time (point in case, it took me almost three hours to finish a single post today). I'm also hoping to start a blog up for the youth group I mentioned, and am meeting with another company on Saturday about the possibility of doing social media for them. Yikes! Which god do I appeal to for more time in the day again?