Birthday Shennanigans

Today, I officially turned 21. Which means I can now have the mead during ritual, and buy wine or mead for my own personal rituals, if I choose to use it. This, of course, makes the men in The Pantheon rather ecstatic. Mabon can be quite the alcoholic (he says "I just love mead!"), Loki comes from a pantheon where everyone drinks basically all the time when they aren't smashing giant skulls, and Ai says he enjoys a good ale as much as anyone. I, on the other hand, am not exactly one for alcohol. Most of the time, I can't stand the taste of it (with the exception of hard cider, surprisingly), and I hate the idea of not being in control of myself. Especially as I try to incorporate more magickal and spiritual work into my mundane life. No point in getting my head all mixed up and then attempting to do something important.

Anyway, enough about that. I also went up to the mountains with my family today, visited some of our old haunts, which was fun. It's always nice to get up into the fresh air and away from the city for a little while. I was terribly tempted to buy a pendulum at a semi-metaphysical shop, but I successfully held myself back. I have one in the mail, after all.

Overall, I'd say this was a rather successful weekend! Thank whatever gods are in charge of wonderful weekends!

Group Rituals Rock

Today I attended my first group ritual ever. It was a Midsummer ritual with Silver Branch, Golden Horn, which is a local Druidic Grove, and I had such a good time. Loki was not pleased that we called upon Thor and Odin and he was too chaotic to come near the sacred space, but that wasn't too bad. At least he didn't start a fight in the middle of the ritual (which I could totally see him doing). As far as first rituals go, this was really simple and really fabulous. And the feast/potluck afterward wasn't bad either! I thoroughly enjoyed being able to sit down with others and talk about things I don't normally get to talk about: the gods, different beliefs, divination, psychic abilities.

I've been a solitary practitioner for six years now, and it's definitely time to start branching out and getting to know others in the community. So, if you're reading this, even if you don't live in Colorado, feel free to drop me a line! Or not, of course, and just feel free to continue reading my ramblings as you see fit.

Tarot Stories and Esbat Poem

Tonight is the Full Strong Moon esbat. Right on the cusp of Midsummer/Litha, and a great time for new beginnings. And tonight I have decided I want to try my hand at writing tarot stories for the minor arcana. I wrote a series earlier this year inspired by the major arcana, but the deck I had did not include detailed images for the minor arcana, only a representation of the number and the suit. My new deck includes the most beautiful pictures on every single card, and they're very inspiring. Wonderful for story sparks.

But for now, I'd like to share a poem I wrote for the last full moon and kept hidden for a while. I'm dedicating it to Ai and Brid, for all their creative help, and Artemis, because she's my wonderful moon goddess. I wish I had more creative title for it, though.


Esbat Poem
Tonight is a night of the Goddess,
The full moon hangs in the sky.
Tonight is a night of the Goddess,
The time for magick draws nigh.

For She lives in us all,
As a spark of divine,
And in Her we all do dwell.
Tonight is a night of the Goddess,
And I'm certain to mark it well.

Today is a day of the God,
Oh, the sun it does light the sky.
Today is a day of the God,
Oh, the time for worship draws nigh.

For He lives in us all,
As a spark of Divine,
And in Him we all do dwell.
Today is a day of the God,
Oh, I'm certain to mark it well.

Now is the time of Bright Spirit,
The stars twinkle in the sky.
Now is the time of Bright Spirit,
The time for great peace draws nigh.

For It lives in us all,
As a spark of divine,
And in It we all do dwell.
Now is the time of Bright Spirit,
Be certain to mark it well.

Dust Bunny Queen II

Remember that post a few days ago about cleaning and getting rid of everything that's not "beautiful, useful or joyful?" It all sounds well and good, doesn't it? Well, I've started attempting to go through some things (aka, the massive mountain of papers and things on my desk), and I've realized it's going to be a lot harder than I thought. Birthday and holiday cards will be my downfall, I'm certain of it. They're so cute (my family is fond of funny cards) and nostalgic that it's hard to just throw them into the recycling bin. It's so easy just to say "oh, they're joyful, so I ought to keep them," but I know that they're clutter, when it comes down to it. After all, when do you really look at/read a card after you initially open it? They just sit in the drawers and take up space. But as soon as I open that envelope again, I get all teary because I remember exactly when I got the card, and who sent it to me. Yes, I get emotional easily, don't tell Mabon.

I told myself that I would read them again and throw them in the recycling bin. And they sat there for a good ten minutes before I rescued them. I'm so hopeless. It's only going to get worse when I hit the drawers where I've been keeping my manuscript and various writing for ages. Oh, Goddess help me.

Musings on Loki

I've been musing on Loki a lot today. He's been with me since I first started exploring the craft and I've come to view him as part of my family, in a way. When I first discovered he had chosen to be my patron, I was freaked out, because all I knew was that he was trickster god, and in today's world, that tends to be extremely demonized. So I started my research and speaking with him in meditations and slowly but surely I came to realize that he is anything but a demon. A mischievous little bastard at times, but not evil at all. His is the energy that breaks a stagnant situation, that makes us see things in a different way from what we're used to. His is the heart of the inner child, the little boy that asks "what if?" without thinking of the consequences. And I am honored to work so closely with him.

Of course, this post is making him grin like a fool, but we'll just keep that between ourselves, shall we?

Balance

Hey there! Sorry about not posting yesterday; it was a long day. Got to take the feral cat to the vet for his yearly checkup and vaccines and went to a masquerade last night. All sorts of fun and nothing terribly Witchy. Today hasn't been much better, since I've been recuperating from being out all night. But, you know what, that's okay.

One of my friends did an oracle card reading for me the other day that suggested I've been getting myself too involved far too much in my magickal/spiritual life and neglecting aspects of my mundane life. Which is the exact opposite of what I've been doing for the last few years. So the fact that I've taken the last two days to live more in the mundane world (with the exception of my morning and evening grounding and meditations) is probably a good thing. This balance stuff is harder than it sounds. It's one thing to say that I want to live with my magickal/spiritual and mundane lives intertwined and in balance, and it's another entirely to find a way to do that effectively. Especially while living in a household where it seems to be one or the other, more often the mundane. If I walked around with my pentacle and black tourmaline out all the time and muttered spells or blessings over my food at every meal, I'm pretty sure my family would consider my certifiably insane. Or at least get nice and awkward. Both of which I'd rather avoid.

Perhaps it'll be easier to find a balance and a method to twine my two lives together when I get a place of my own. Perhaps now. Only time will tell. But, in the meantime, I can do my best to try to achieve the balance with all the tools at my disposal.

Bookshelf Adventures

The first step in my spring cleaning was replacing the mirror in my room with a new bookshelf in which to store my growing library. Getting the stack of books off my dresser and actually into some sort of organization is a huge relief. I spent a good portion of the day visiting various furniture stores, exploring various options and trying to find something relatively cheap. Finally, I found a nice looking natural wood bookcase at an antique store down the road and talked my friend into helping me move it. It looks fabulous in the space and holds a lot more than I thought it would, which means my space is definitely shaping up! Now to tackle the mountain on my desk and reorganize a few other things and then I can set about really clearing the energy, because I'll have enough space to actually move around. Of course, I'm hoping to incorporate that spiritual cleansing with my continuing work, if I can wrap my head around it at the same time!

Dust Bunny Queen

You know those times when you come across a single idea over and over again in the things you're doing/reading, and it takes you weeks to realize what the universe is trying to tell you? I've just had one of those great "aha, so that's it!" moments: the universe is telling me to clean. Every pagan/witchcraft book I've picked up lately has included at least a few pages about the connection between spiritual space and physical space, if not an entire chapter devoted to methods of spiritual cleansing whilst cleaning the house/apartment/other living space. I've stumbled on articles about it, had conversations on the topic, and it took me until today to realize that it's time I did a major 'spring cleaning' of both my bedroom (where I keep basically all of my personal possessions, mundane and magickal), and my own energy. If a physical space is a reflection of our inner worlds, my mind is cluttered, unorganized, covered in dusty books, and packed in boxes just home from college. Not exactly a fabulous state to be in, regardless of the fact that I've been living that way for as long as I can remember, minus the boxes.

It's time for a change. No longer will I let myself hold onto things I'm not using or find no joy in. No longer will I let things sit around in my desk drawers just because I don't know what else to do with them. No longer will I cover every available flat surface with literature (well, that one'll be a work in progress, certainly). Instead, I will give all my old drawings/writings/what have you from elementary and middle school that are sitting in my drawers to my mother, and force myself to part with things that I haven't looked at in years but will undoubtedly attempt to use their powers of nostalgia, real or imagined, to save their lives in my desk. I will attempt to organize my space and keep it organized, at least a little. Too much cleanliness stifles me, so I won't go all the way and disinfect things and keep things perfect, just a little tidier. And, as I clean out my physical space, I plan on not only dedicating the work to the gods, but also bless the space (it's been years since I did that last), and clear out all the negativity that I'm sure has been lurking in corners for ages now.

If you don't hear from me for a while, assume the dust bunnies kidnapped me to make me their queen and send Mabon and Loki after me. I don't want to be a dust bunny queen!

Lazy Day

[Insert witty, interesting, funny, Witchy, informational post here]*


*The above and the resulting lack of actual post is entirely Loki's fault. Blame him.

Confidence Wanted

Today I learned that two of the members of the online coven I belong to are leaving the group. I applaud them for following their own path, but I must admit I will miss them greatly. Their departure got me thinking, though, about the hole they're going to leave in the group. My gut is telling me that it's my job to step up to the plate and attempt to fill some of that gap, however I can. The only issue is that I'm new to the coven and community. I'm still finding my feet and my place in the group, and my natural shyness has kept me from really throwing myself into the community activities like I want to, and need to to carve out some sort of leadership position. But my gut hasn't lead me astray yet.

So what shall I do? Call upon The Pantheon, ask for help finding a niche, and possibly casting a spell to increase my self-confidence. Can't really be a leader without confidence, after all. And, since I'm hoping to be a priestess at some point, confidence is really important. C

One thing's for certain, it'll be interesting to see how this plays out.

The Toolbox

I'm going to turn into one of those crazy witchy women with too many divination tools. I already have two decks of oracle cards, a deck of tarot cards that I don't really like working with, and a set of Elder Futhark runes. Plus, a pendulum in the mail with the Celtic Lore cookbook, [i]and[/i] I bought a tarot deck today that I should like working with a lot more.

Do I need any of these? No, not at all. Do I enjoy having them around for meditation and the times I feel I need a little guidance? Oh, yes. There's just something comforting about having these tools at my disposal, whether or not I actually use them often. Just like magick.

I've been reading [i]The Goddess is in the Details[/i] by Deborah Blake and there's a piece of advice I'm trying to work into my life: using all the tools at my disposal, both mundane and magickal. If that means casting a healing spell in addition to rest and vitamin C and other more 'traditional' western medicines, that's what I'll do. One of the things I really want to try and do is incorporate my spiritual path into my mundane life. And I am open to any other ideas on how to do that, if anyone stumbling across this has any.

One of the most relaxing and amusing things I've found is watching three cats explore the back yard. It helps, I suppose, that the branch of one of the trees and the wood pile form a sort of doorway onto the neighbor's yard from where I'm sitting, so I feel as if I'm looking into the Sídhe or the Shire or something, especially with the way the sun is shining through the leaves and painting everything a very vibrant green at the moment.

But back to the cats. As you may or may not have noticed, I have three. The eldest, and orange tabby whom I shall call O.T. here, T, the feral tuxedo in the middle, and B, the chubby, long-haired black cat rounding out the trio. At the moment, B is stuck inside with a plastic cone on (the poor thing!), so it's just O.T. and T prowling around the yard. It's fun to pick out their different personalities as I watch. And there's just something so graceful and natural about cats, and animals in general, that is relaxing to me. So I've spent the last half hour or so watching kitties prowl around the yard.

I promise, this isn't going to turn into a "all I do is talk about my pets" blog. As a matter of fact, I'll twist it a bit right now and go on about familiars. I've wanted a certified familiar since I started on this path. Since B showed up very soon after I began my studies (and he's a black cat, go figure), I was convinced for a while that he was my familiar. I'm not sure if it's because I've been away for three years or what, but we don't seem as in tune any more. He hasn't shown up to any of the magickal workings I've done in the last few weeks, and, honestly, seems to be avoiding me on occasion. So the question arises: how do you know when your pet is just a pet and when (s)he's a familiar? Have you ever had one change into the other?

Old Things

My sister is watching "How It's Made" on the science channel as I write this, and they just summed up the part of the episode on springs with the idea that "springs prove that some old ideas still work" or something of that ilk. Which, I found rather appropriate for this space, seeing as this is a blog celebrating The Old Ways. Though things have changed over the centuries, the basic ideas remain the same, more or less, and these beliefs still work today, with minor tweaking to be useful and more easily practiced in the modern world.

The point, though, is that even old things have their uses, and not everything becomes outdated with time. Take Brid, for instance, originally a Celtic triple goddess, now recreated into Saint Brigid, but still basically the same. Even Christianity couldn't wipe her out.

It's fascinating to take a look at the roots of your spiritual path. I'm studying the history of Wicca through the various forms of Paganism right now, as a matter of fact. Very interesting information.

Another sort of exercise for anyone who stumbles upon this. Call it a meditation, if you like, but it's not, really. Study the past of your path, make a list of the things that drew you to your path, whatever it is. Do these things have anything to do with the history of your spiritual beliefs (assuming you follow some sort of set system)? Take some time to think about the "old things" in your life. Are they still useful to you? How so? If not, what did they mean to you when you were using them?

Non-Sequitur

It's funny how certain clothes just feel Witchier than others, and how adding a scarf or something flowy adds to that magickal feeling. For instance, I got a beautiful scarf as a graduation present that's big enough to wear as a wrap skirt or a sari, should I choose to, and it's extremely soft, so it's comfortable to wear. And it's got all sorts of positive energies in it, so it's just one of those pieces of clothes that's absolutely lovely to wear. I bring this up because I wore it today (despite the heat that's moved in), and felt magickal all day. Well, more magickal than I have in a few days, at least. It was nice, given the fact that I was doing all sorts of mundane things.

Though I did get to go to a teahouse for lunch. That was fun. Except the bored trickster god sitting beside me, grumbling about my tea addiction the whole time. For the record, Loki would much rather have ale or mead than tea, and he doesn't understand my fascination with the stuff. Makes it fun when I talk about having a tea party for my birthday/Litha. He staunchly refuses to attend any ritual I perform where I drink "that disgusting stuff," though I'd say the same to him, if he invited me to a beer drinking party or something. Alcohol holds no interest for me, besides the occasional sip.

As I write this, I have a very warm, very happy cat on my lap (which makes it awkward to type, let me tell you), and both of my parents in the room with me. The good news, I suppose, is that they're not reading over my shoulder any more, like they used to do when I was younger. Makes it a lot easier to toodle around on witchy websites, do my research and post here. Though I still get nervous when they get up and walk behind me. Oh, the joys of living with parents who don't quite understand my spiritual path and have made no attempt to really try to get it.

To Do: Witch's Edition

Did I ever mention that Aphrodite is one of the handful of clinger-ons to  the The Pantheon? Because she's around on occasion, generally fluttering around when me or my friends develop a new crush on someone, and might as well be part of The Pantheon when that happens. Or, when things like the Lover's Moon come around. It certainly is amusing watching a goddess prance around the room like she's drunk, just because it's a night for spells and prayers directed at her and her love god(dess) kin.
I have to admit, I've been pretty lax when it comes to celebrating Esbats. In fact, the only reason I know tonight is the Lover's Moon is from a Wiccan community I'm part of, that's holding an Esbat celebration tonight. It's one of the things I want to get better at, celebrating the moon. You'd think I'd be good at it, what with having a moon goddess as the mother figure of my private pantheon and all. Just goes to show I'm full of surprises.

On the note of things I want/have to do I'm thinking about trying to take some tarot training and go for my tarot certification. Of course, that means running down to the local metaphysical store and picking up another tarot deck that fits the training suggestions better. The deck I have only has basic representations of the numbers and suites for the minor arcana, and the training I'm looking at requires detailed images for both arcanas. I'm pretty sure I'll wind up being one of those people who collects divination tools: I already have two decks of oracle cards, a deck of tarot cards, a set of runes and a pendulum on the way. Ogham is on the list, too. I also need to run out to my garden to gather the herbs for the Litha ritual I'm planning on attending.

Righto. Now I'm off for my nightly meditation!

Blessed be.