Moving!

All right, all two potential readers who find this! I'm moving virtual space! If you want to keep up with me and The Pantheon and all our craziness, check out my new website at http://musingsofmagick.weebly.com/

Last night I ordered new business cards. This may not seem that exciting or that spiritual until I mention that these cards are specifically for my spiritual practice. For my reiki/intuitive healing practice that's slow developing, and for my new business project--PaganStitches, a little Etsy shop where I'm going to sell handmade spell and herbal pouches. I hope to have the shop up and stocked with the first wave of pouches and pillows by the end of the month! And I need to find a place to set up shop for my energy healing, but I've already got some brilliant trades set up with friends who are also energy healers. It's going to be amazing! I'm so excited!

I'm off to sew and write like a madwoman!

Bubble Shields are Friends, Not Food

After over a month of neglect (oh my gods, I'm so sooooorrry), and a week of being sick, I'm ready to try my hand at this blogging thing once more. I know I've said I want to be better at it before and failed miserably, but I really do want to try to get some sort of rhythm or pattern or something going here. I just need to keep myself on the right track.

So! Here we go! I guess I want to take this time of not-quite-100%-better-yet to talk about shielding. More info and a basic shielding technique below the cut!

Peace

I finally performed my dedication ceremony tonight, and it was possibly the most profound thing I've ever experienced. I won't record most of it here, out of respect for my gods, but suffice it to say that Odin and I have finally made up and I feel like real witch now. It was a super simple ceremony, but extremely poignant.

I hope that I will be exploring my spirituality more and posting those results here more often as a result. Who's excited? Just me? Oh...oh, well! As long as someone is!

Feelings of Initiation

I have done some more soul-searching, between bouts of furious writing, arguments with Odin, and mundane work, and I have come to a conclusion. Inspired by a feeling of...lack and confusion, and a conversation I had with another absolutely lovely witch I met last week, I have decided I need to initiate. I don't have a Wiccan tradition I'm drawn to, but I know that those that emphasis long, drawn-out ritual magick over everything else is not for me. Ritual magick has its place, as does kitchen witchery and gypsy magick, but that place, for me, is not a very big one. I do not wish to be confined to a tradition that that requires me to worship only a specific set of deities, or tells me not to interact with traditionally 'darker' gods like Loki or the rest of the Jotuns, with whom I work almost as closely as I work with Brigid or Artemis.

And yet I still feel the need for that formal initiation, that rite of passage, that is currently lacking in my life. Theoretically, I performed a half-hearted self-initiation when I first found the Craft. I wore long, flowing clothes to school on Mabon (I was a sophomore in high school then), and danced outside during lunch and talked to the gods and the faeries and called it done. Then I neglected my studies and, indeed, my spirituality for six years. This is a new point in my life, a new turn in my path, and I feel the need to acknowledge it.

So, with Mabon coming up once more, I plan on self-initiate into an eclectic pagan tradition. Call it Wiccan, if you like, or call it something else. The name doesn't matter to me. I already know it will incorporate pieces of Buddhism, Wicca, Asatru, Shamanism, and the Faerie Faith. I already know it is what I believe right now and what I have been working on for the last year.

It is simply time to sit down and formalize it, dedicate myself to leading a spiritual life, and give myself a rite of passage I have never had before. It will also be the first full-fledged ritual I design and perform on my own. I would like it to be more formal and more sober than my previous magickal workings (in which I basically did everything off the cuff and laughed a lot, which is good, but not the right tone for this, I believe), and I realize that performing it during/around a harvest festival is not traditional. But it feels right. And that's what the pagan path is all about, isn't it? Finding what's right for us?

Masquerade

Good morning, big, wonderful, divine world! I've found myself lacking in intertwining my spiritual and mundane lives as much as I'd like, despite the fact that I'm now surrounding myself with the most fantastic spiritually-minded, enlightened people you'll ever meet. I feel like I'm playing the part of a spiritual person: when I'm with all of these amazing people, I've got my mask on, but it comes off as soon as I'm by myself again. And that is not what I want at this point in my life. It just took me forever to realize it. But that's okay. It's all part of the journey.

So what am I going to do? I'm going to actually solidify some morning and evening routines/rituals to try to do every day. I want to try to start praying more often, over meals and in thanks. I want to start meditating more, and actually upholding a conversation with The Pantheon. The poor gods probably think I've abandoned them at this point. I promise I haven't! I've just been struggling with Odin for a while, I think. But we've finally come to an agreeable settlement, and I suppose that makes him officially part of The Pantheon. But back to what I'm going to do! I'm going to consciously repeat my affirmations throughout the day, attempt to work a little magick every day.

And I know I'm going to be overwhelmed every time I look at that list. So, small chunks! What am I going to start with? Morning routines and affirmations. I think I'm going to try doing those on a regular basis for the rest of the month, then move onto adding evening routines and meditation. That's the plan, at least. Take things one step at a time.

The card I drew today from my Goddess Inspiration Oracle deck: Sarasvati, goddess of knowledge. "Enlightment awaits you. Prepare for it."

Show and Tell

Did you know that cats are rather fond of laptop keyboards? No? Well, mine are. The little one (read: youngest, not actually that little at 15 pounds) likes to sit on the keyboard while I'm trying to work or write, and the eldest attempted to lie down on it yesterday when I refused to move it for his highness to sleep on my lap. Must be something about the warmth, I suppose. That would explain why my little spirit guide dragon also likes sleeping on it. Or at least cuddling up next to it while I work. Occasionally she'll even bat at my hands while I'm writing. Goofy little thing, she is. Does anyone have a good name for a tiny blue dragon, by the way? She soundly refuses to tell me her name (I'm actually not sure she's learned to speak yet, as she's still rather young), and I'm getting tired of calling her Little Snot. Though she's definitely earned that name.

Ah, I'm rambling again. I had a goal today when I set out. Something about sharing the amazing websites I've found recently. And then I realized it was silly to devote an entire post to, basically, a list of sites, when I can link to them in the sidebar (please check out the amazingness, especially of The Goddess Guidebook and Quado's Garden). So there's my little plug. Lots of fantasticness out there, just as there's a lot of--forgive my language--crap. Just have to sort through all the stupidity to find a gem of honest to goodness amazing support and information.

Holy Newcomers, Batman!

I've been absolutely terrible about updating here! I'm so sorry! *Begs forgiveness from all two readers and The Pantheon.* So, what's happened since the last full moon? A lot. Unfortunately, a lot I can't talk about in a public forum (thank The Pantheon for that one), but some really neat stuff involving writing, past lives, the Aesir, Faeries, lots of stuff. Lots of crazy. But of the good kind, mostly.

The biggest relevant news that I can impart: new additions to the Pantheon! Admittedly, grudging additions, but they're here. Everyone give a big, warm welcome to Odin, Frigg and Thor! Let's give some quick fun facts, shall we?

Odin: Probably my least favorite member of the Pantheon at the moment. He showed up one day, demanding that I work with him, and practically stalked me until I gave in. Gave me a headache and everything. Needless to say, I don't think he'll be leaving my life any time soon.

Frigg: Frigg is now in an all-out war with Artemis for the position of mother figure of the Pantheon. As a creativity and fertility goddess, She's definitely got some interesting ideas on how to fight that battle. She's got a fantastically calm energy for the most part, though, which is nice, since it offsets Odin's overbearing craziness.

Thor: In three words: big teddy bear. Unless you piss him off. Then he gets scary. I'm not entirely sure what role Thor's taking on in the Pantheon yet, as he's kind of hovering around the edges. But I have a feeling he'll be making himself known a lot more soon enough.

Tonight is the full moon. Esbat time! This month, I was actually part of a fantastic impromptu esbat ritual last night. This time of the month is all about intention setting, bringing in new, cleansing energies that help us reach our goals. So last night, I made a huge list of the things I want to bring into my life this month. Well, really, in the next couple of months, but starting now. I can already feel the magick working. I'm 100% confident that all of my intentions will come true in a timely manner with a little bit of elbow grease, patience, and belief. I am a goddess; I am a witch; I am a woman. And all of those make me powerful. All of those make you, my reader(s), powerful. Whether you are male or female, Pagan, Judeo-Christian, Athiest, or something in between, you also have the power of your will and belief, of the moon and the sun and the Earth behind you. We are all divine; I believe that will all of my heart. It's only what we decide to do with that spark of divinity inside of us that matters. Do we manifest love and light and acceptance? Or do we spread hatred and upheaval? Personally, I vote for the former.

So, I hope you'll join me, whoever happens to be reading this, in setting the intention of peace and love for this next month. With the full moon, I invite into our lives love, balance, serenity and the remembrance of the power that we hold within ourselves. I invite any and all of my readers to invite the same into their own lives and into the world at large. Perhaps if enough of us set the intention for peace, and work at it, it will eventually come to pass.

So mote it be.

Impromtu Prayer

Funny how the smallest things can be some of the most spiritual. Sitting around a campfire in the company of friends for a few hours, watching the moon and the stars and partaking of good conversation can be the most grounding experience in the world, and perhaps one of the most fulfilling. Yes, full-blown intricate ritual is important. But so is sitting back and marveling at the natural magick that occurs all around us without our even noticing it.

So next time you're feeling stressed or afraid or overwhelmed, take a moment and remember the last time you sat with friends and family and roasted marshmallows, or went swimming in a stream, or even just walked around the park. Remember how marvelous it feels to know that you're loved. For you are loved. If no one else tells you that, know that I love you, as I love every one of the God and Goddess' creations. But recall that feeling of calm and love and let it fill you, let it wash away all the stress and the fear, and let it fill you with a sustaining light that will carry you through whatever troubles you are facing. Times will be tough; they're never easy. But if we can recall those moments of pure simplicity, pure love and beauty and magick, I feel that we can get through them unscathed and better people.

Blessed be,
Emer

Reminders for Life

Whoops, a whole week without posting. It's been an interesting week, to say the least: psychic vampires and stupid drama, work woes and craziness. But I'm still alive! Huzzah! Partially prompted from stress about my job (social media coordinator for my father's company) and partially from The Pantheon's urgings, I have a created a list of simple reminders to myself. Some of them are work-specific, most of them are applicable to all of life; some of them only make sense to my brain or those who know the reference, but most of them should be useful for everyone. Feel free to use or ignore as you see fit. I just thought it might be nice to share my insights of the day.

Do

• Believe in yourself
• Make strange connections
• Go beyond the obvious
• Be yourself
• Be funny, if you can
• Find the interesting angle
• Be prepared
• Be humble, but confident
• Explore all aspects of a situation
• Be creative
• Break things into bite-sized pieces
• Make things personable and interesting
• Focus on one thing at a time
• Remember you can do this; you can do anything
• Think outside the box
• Ask weird questions
• Recapture your inner child
• Take things one step at a time
• Take a break if you need it
• Be okay with not knowing where something’s going
• Borrow techniques from others, where appropriate
• Remember that no one’s done this before; you’re a trail blazer
• Brainstorm before acting
• Follow your intuition when you’re feeling lost; it will not lead you astray
• Set smaller goals
• Treat your contacts like royalty; they are your livelihood
• Keep a positive outlook and remember the law of returns
• Integrate your life, especially bringing spirit into your work and not vice versa
• Make to-do lists
• Be a Kaoru, not a Kyouya
• Love yourself and love your work
• Remember that your attitude affects your work
• Be passionate and energetic

Don’t

• Be afraid to make mistakes
• Sit on your butt doing nothing
• Stick with something that doesn’t work
• Be shy
• Be afraid to ASK FOR HELP when needed
• Let yourself get overwhelmed
• Multi-task (too much)
• Lose the fun in the job
• Lose sight of the goal
• Forget that you signed up for this
• Let little things get in the way
• Get distracted too often
• Take things too seriously
• Be afraid to talk to people
• Be afraid to suggest ideas, even if you think they’re silly
• Tear yourself down; you’re a goddess/god
• Forget to stretch now and then
• Think of yourself as an expert
• Compare yourself to others in the same field
• Be afraid to pretend or role play for confidence
• Spread yourself too thin
• Ignore your gut
• Try to take on the entire project at one time
• Think it’s all about the money
• Get hung up on nitpicky details until the overall is in decent shape
• Be impatient; but don’t be too patient, either
• Be too spontaneous/disorganized
• Forget that everyone is human
• Be only work, or a workaholic
• Set your standards/goals too an unobtainable high (or too low)
• Let a bad mood hold you back
• Be afraid to go with the flow
• Be afraid of change

Blessed Lughnasadh!

Today is the first of the harvest Sabbats, Lughnasadh. A day when we look to all that we have sown and begin to reap our harvests, be it positive or negative, fruitful or barren. Today we celebrate Lugh of the Long Arm, Celtic god of light and the harvest, who killed Balor the Baneful (interestingly enough, in a story similar to the Biblical David and Goliath). Today we celebrate Summer, in all its warmth and sunlight, and are aware of the ending of this season drawing ever closer.

And today I am aware of how very much I'm sounding like a Haggadah. "Why is this night different from all other nights?" Because I say it is, dang it! Why, yes, I did grow up celebrating Passover, why do you ask?

The point of this post, though, is harvesting what we plant. The law of returns. Call it what you will. What we put out into the universe, our energy and thoughts and words, will eventually return to us. If we put out positivity, love and light, as much kindness as we can manage, we will get positive results in return. It could be an unexpected word of support, finding exactly what you need for the price you can afford, or even just nebulous positive energy floating around you. If you put out negativity, hatred and prejudice, that will come back to you, too, in the form of not getting something you need, psychic, emotional, or physical illness, and people just plain not liking you. You tell me, which one sounds nicer? Personally, I'm going to go with the positive one.

So, remember during this time of the harvest festivals, that what you plant, sow, or put out is what you'll be harvesting, reaping or receiving somewhere down the line. It won't necessarily be immediate--plenty of nasty people get seemingly good things all the time and vice versa--but it will happen, either in this life or a future one. Keep your eyes open.

Tricksters and Me

Today I realized one of the reasons Loki probably picked me: I have a similar "let's shake things up" energy, apparently. I finally put some pieces together today for various reasons, but throughout my life, there have been several groups--all with different purposes, and some simply just groups of friends, on occasion a relationship or two--that have suddenly encountered a ton of silly drama for one reason or another. I now believe it could very well be because there's something about me, even if it's only Loki standing over my shoulder and grinning that goofy grin of his, that eats away at deception and exposes the things that aren't working. Now that I think about it, this has happened to me over and over again, so I don't feel like it's just a coincidence. Just another thing to think about as I move along, I suppose. Perhaps there's more to my affinity for trickster characters, after all. Only time will tell.

Secrecy and Confidence

It's days like this that remind me why it's hard to blog every day: so much has happened in the last twenty-four hours that I don't know where to start. A lot of it, I'm not actually allowed to talk about here, though, which I suppose definitely narrows it down. That's one of the things that bothers me about the Wiccan community, really. The secrecy. Don't get me wrong, I understand the reasoning behind it and will do everything in my power to uphold it, but it makes things so dang difficult! When my parents ask who I'm talking to, for example, I'm forced to say something as vague as "my friend," which only makes them prod more. On occasion, I've had to downright lie to to them to keep from giving away someone's identity as a Witch, and that really bothers me. Especially since one of the things I've been working on is not telling little white lies! But here I am doing that to keep a friend's privacy. Rather a conundrum, don't you think?

Ah, well. Moving on. I'm really starting to sense things again; huzzah! (The Pantheon: phew! Finally!) And I want to share one of the things that I think really helped. It's an affirmation/chant/meditation/spell/whatever you want to call it that I found in The Wicca Cookbook by Jamie Wood and Tara Seefeldt. I think it works for self-confidence, trusting yourself, and, probably, depression (though I haven't tried it for the last).

Look in the mirror, focusing on your right eye. Say:

I love you (your name).
I forgive you for ever thinking you were bad, unworthy, or incapable.
You are innocent.
You are a beautiful child of the universe.
All things are possible.
Success is your divine right.

Say it until you believe it.

I'm Back!

Whoo! After that last post (geeze, over a month ago! Bad Emer, bad!), I bet you thought I'd turned into some slobbering drunk on a street corner somewhere, right? Well, surprise! I'm still here! It's been rather a crazy month, in all honesty. Getting my sea legs in an office job (well, a bloggy job), arguing with Loki over the fact that I want to work with his wives/mistressess/whatever title you want to give to Angrboda and Sigyn, meeting a new spirit guide (if anyone's got information on an Omwa, please shoot me an email), helping to create an Indigo youth group (keep an eye out for a blog for that!), failing miserably at celebrating Esbats, trying to convince my boss (read: my father) time off for Lughnasadh without being overt about it, very slowly picking at my novel, going to the Colorado Renaissance Festival and not letting myself buy anything, reading as many Craft books as I can get my hands on, and helping my sister prepare for college. Oh, yes, and going through a crazy period of doubt that's been driving me crazy and closing up all my sensing chakras, especially my heart chakra, which is the one I always use to sense energies. But I think I'm finally starting to recover from that. Especially given that I just did a mostly accurate empathic reading for my friend, and I'm pretty sure I see a bored trickster god sitting on my desk and rolling his eyes at me.

Ah, well. Enough about the past! Let's talk about the future. I'm hoping to get this monster going again, with daily posts, like I was doing before my rather sudden and accidental hiatus. This will most likely prove interesting, as I'm also starting a blogging job for my father's company that will likely take a lot of time (point in case, it took me almost three hours to finish a single post today). I'm also hoping to start a blog up for the youth group I mentioned, and am meeting with another company on Saturday about the possibility of doing social media for them. Yikes! Which god do I appeal to for more time in the day again?

Birthday Shennanigans

Today, I officially turned 21. Which means I can now have the mead during ritual, and buy wine or mead for my own personal rituals, if I choose to use it. This, of course, makes the men in The Pantheon rather ecstatic. Mabon can be quite the alcoholic (he says "I just love mead!"), Loki comes from a pantheon where everyone drinks basically all the time when they aren't smashing giant skulls, and Ai says he enjoys a good ale as much as anyone. I, on the other hand, am not exactly one for alcohol. Most of the time, I can't stand the taste of it (with the exception of hard cider, surprisingly), and I hate the idea of not being in control of myself. Especially as I try to incorporate more magickal and spiritual work into my mundane life. No point in getting my head all mixed up and then attempting to do something important.

Anyway, enough about that. I also went up to the mountains with my family today, visited some of our old haunts, which was fun. It's always nice to get up into the fresh air and away from the city for a little while. I was terribly tempted to buy a pendulum at a semi-metaphysical shop, but I successfully held myself back. I have one in the mail, after all.

Overall, I'd say this was a rather successful weekend! Thank whatever gods are in charge of wonderful weekends!

Group Rituals Rock

Today I attended my first group ritual ever. It was a Midsummer ritual with Silver Branch, Golden Horn, which is a local Druidic Grove, and I had such a good time. Loki was not pleased that we called upon Thor and Odin and he was too chaotic to come near the sacred space, but that wasn't too bad. At least he didn't start a fight in the middle of the ritual (which I could totally see him doing). As far as first rituals go, this was really simple and really fabulous. And the feast/potluck afterward wasn't bad either! I thoroughly enjoyed being able to sit down with others and talk about things I don't normally get to talk about: the gods, different beliefs, divination, psychic abilities.

I've been a solitary practitioner for six years now, and it's definitely time to start branching out and getting to know others in the community. So, if you're reading this, even if you don't live in Colorado, feel free to drop me a line! Or not, of course, and just feel free to continue reading my ramblings as you see fit.

Tarot Stories and Esbat Poem

Tonight is the Full Strong Moon esbat. Right on the cusp of Midsummer/Litha, and a great time for new beginnings. And tonight I have decided I want to try my hand at writing tarot stories for the minor arcana. I wrote a series earlier this year inspired by the major arcana, but the deck I had did not include detailed images for the minor arcana, only a representation of the number and the suit. My new deck includes the most beautiful pictures on every single card, and they're very inspiring. Wonderful for story sparks.

But for now, I'd like to share a poem I wrote for the last full moon and kept hidden for a while. I'm dedicating it to Ai and Brid, for all their creative help, and Artemis, because she's my wonderful moon goddess. I wish I had more creative title for it, though.


Esbat Poem
Tonight is a night of the Goddess,
The full moon hangs in the sky.
Tonight is a night of the Goddess,
The time for magick draws nigh.

For She lives in us all,
As a spark of divine,
And in Her we all do dwell.
Tonight is a night of the Goddess,
And I'm certain to mark it well.

Today is a day of the God,
Oh, the sun it does light the sky.
Today is a day of the God,
Oh, the time for worship draws nigh.

For He lives in us all,
As a spark of Divine,
And in Him we all do dwell.
Today is a day of the God,
Oh, I'm certain to mark it well.

Now is the time of Bright Spirit,
The stars twinkle in the sky.
Now is the time of Bright Spirit,
The time for great peace draws nigh.

For It lives in us all,
As a spark of divine,
And in It we all do dwell.
Now is the time of Bright Spirit,
Be certain to mark it well.

Dust Bunny Queen II

Remember that post a few days ago about cleaning and getting rid of everything that's not "beautiful, useful or joyful?" It all sounds well and good, doesn't it? Well, I've started attempting to go through some things (aka, the massive mountain of papers and things on my desk), and I've realized it's going to be a lot harder than I thought. Birthday and holiday cards will be my downfall, I'm certain of it. They're so cute (my family is fond of funny cards) and nostalgic that it's hard to just throw them into the recycling bin. It's so easy just to say "oh, they're joyful, so I ought to keep them," but I know that they're clutter, when it comes down to it. After all, when do you really look at/read a card after you initially open it? They just sit in the drawers and take up space. But as soon as I open that envelope again, I get all teary because I remember exactly when I got the card, and who sent it to me. Yes, I get emotional easily, don't tell Mabon.

I told myself that I would read them again and throw them in the recycling bin. And they sat there for a good ten minutes before I rescued them. I'm so hopeless. It's only going to get worse when I hit the drawers where I've been keeping my manuscript and various writing for ages. Oh, Goddess help me.

Musings on Loki

I've been musing on Loki a lot today. He's been with me since I first started exploring the craft and I've come to view him as part of my family, in a way. When I first discovered he had chosen to be my patron, I was freaked out, because all I knew was that he was trickster god, and in today's world, that tends to be extremely demonized. So I started my research and speaking with him in meditations and slowly but surely I came to realize that he is anything but a demon. A mischievous little bastard at times, but not evil at all. His is the energy that breaks a stagnant situation, that makes us see things in a different way from what we're used to. His is the heart of the inner child, the little boy that asks "what if?" without thinking of the consequences. And I am honored to work so closely with him.

Of course, this post is making him grin like a fool, but we'll just keep that between ourselves, shall we?

Balance

Hey there! Sorry about not posting yesterday; it was a long day. Got to take the feral cat to the vet for his yearly checkup and vaccines and went to a masquerade last night. All sorts of fun and nothing terribly Witchy. Today hasn't been much better, since I've been recuperating from being out all night. But, you know what, that's okay.

One of my friends did an oracle card reading for me the other day that suggested I've been getting myself too involved far too much in my magickal/spiritual life and neglecting aspects of my mundane life. Which is the exact opposite of what I've been doing for the last few years. So the fact that I've taken the last two days to live more in the mundane world (with the exception of my morning and evening grounding and meditations) is probably a good thing. This balance stuff is harder than it sounds. It's one thing to say that I want to live with my magickal/spiritual and mundane lives intertwined and in balance, and it's another entirely to find a way to do that effectively. Especially while living in a household where it seems to be one or the other, more often the mundane. If I walked around with my pentacle and black tourmaline out all the time and muttered spells or blessings over my food at every meal, I'm pretty sure my family would consider my certifiably insane. Or at least get nice and awkward. Both of which I'd rather avoid.

Perhaps it'll be easier to find a balance and a method to twine my two lives together when I get a place of my own. Perhaps now. Only time will tell. But, in the meantime, I can do my best to try to achieve the balance with all the tools at my disposal.

Bookshelf Adventures

The first step in my spring cleaning was replacing the mirror in my room with a new bookshelf in which to store my growing library. Getting the stack of books off my dresser and actually into some sort of organization is a huge relief. I spent a good portion of the day visiting various furniture stores, exploring various options and trying to find something relatively cheap. Finally, I found a nice looking natural wood bookcase at an antique store down the road and talked my friend into helping me move it. It looks fabulous in the space and holds a lot more than I thought it would, which means my space is definitely shaping up! Now to tackle the mountain on my desk and reorganize a few other things and then I can set about really clearing the energy, because I'll have enough space to actually move around. Of course, I'm hoping to incorporate that spiritual cleansing with my continuing work, if I can wrap my head around it at the same time!

Dust Bunny Queen

You know those times when you come across a single idea over and over again in the things you're doing/reading, and it takes you weeks to realize what the universe is trying to tell you? I've just had one of those great "aha, so that's it!" moments: the universe is telling me to clean. Every pagan/witchcraft book I've picked up lately has included at least a few pages about the connection between spiritual space and physical space, if not an entire chapter devoted to methods of spiritual cleansing whilst cleaning the house/apartment/other living space. I've stumbled on articles about it, had conversations on the topic, and it took me until today to realize that it's time I did a major 'spring cleaning' of both my bedroom (where I keep basically all of my personal possessions, mundane and magickal), and my own energy. If a physical space is a reflection of our inner worlds, my mind is cluttered, unorganized, covered in dusty books, and packed in boxes just home from college. Not exactly a fabulous state to be in, regardless of the fact that I've been living that way for as long as I can remember, minus the boxes.

It's time for a change. No longer will I let myself hold onto things I'm not using or find no joy in. No longer will I let things sit around in my desk drawers just because I don't know what else to do with them. No longer will I cover every available flat surface with literature (well, that one'll be a work in progress, certainly). Instead, I will give all my old drawings/writings/what have you from elementary and middle school that are sitting in my drawers to my mother, and force myself to part with things that I haven't looked at in years but will undoubtedly attempt to use their powers of nostalgia, real or imagined, to save their lives in my desk. I will attempt to organize my space and keep it organized, at least a little. Too much cleanliness stifles me, so I won't go all the way and disinfect things and keep things perfect, just a little tidier. And, as I clean out my physical space, I plan on not only dedicating the work to the gods, but also bless the space (it's been years since I did that last), and clear out all the negativity that I'm sure has been lurking in corners for ages now.

If you don't hear from me for a while, assume the dust bunnies kidnapped me to make me their queen and send Mabon and Loki after me. I don't want to be a dust bunny queen!

Lazy Day

[Insert witty, interesting, funny, Witchy, informational post here]*


*The above and the resulting lack of actual post is entirely Loki's fault. Blame him.

Confidence Wanted

Today I learned that two of the members of the online coven I belong to are leaving the group. I applaud them for following their own path, but I must admit I will miss them greatly. Their departure got me thinking, though, about the hole they're going to leave in the group. My gut is telling me that it's my job to step up to the plate and attempt to fill some of that gap, however I can. The only issue is that I'm new to the coven and community. I'm still finding my feet and my place in the group, and my natural shyness has kept me from really throwing myself into the community activities like I want to, and need to to carve out some sort of leadership position. But my gut hasn't lead me astray yet.

So what shall I do? Call upon The Pantheon, ask for help finding a niche, and possibly casting a spell to increase my self-confidence. Can't really be a leader without confidence, after all. And, since I'm hoping to be a priestess at some point, confidence is really important. C

One thing's for certain, it'll be interesting to see how this plays out.

The Toolbox

I'm going to turn into one of those crazy witchy women with too many divination tools. I already have two decks of oracle cards, a deck of tarot cards that I don't really like working with, and a set of Elder Futhark runes. Plus, a pendulum in the mail with the Celtic Lore cookbook, [i]and[/i] I bought a tarot deck today that I should like working with a lot more.

Do I need any of these? No, not at all. Do I enjoy having them around for meditation and the times I feel I need a little guidance? Oh, yes. There's just something comforting about having these tools at my disposal, whether or not I actually use them often. Just like magick.

I've been reading [i]The Goddess is in the Details[/i] by Deborah Blake and there's a piece of advice I'm trying to work into my life: using all the tools at my disposal, both mundane and magickal. If that means casting a healing spell in addition to rest and vitamin C and other more 'traditional' western medicines, that's what I'll do. One of the things I really want to try and do is incorporate my spiritual path into my mundane life. And I am open to any other ideas on how to do that, if anyone stumbling across this has any.

One of the most relaxing and amusing things I've found is watching three cats explore the back yard. It helps, I suppose, that the branch of one of the trees and the wood pile form a sort of doorway onto the neighbor's yard from where I'm sitting, so I feel as if I'm looking into the Sídhe or the Shire or something, especially with the way the sun is shining through the leaves and painting everything a very vibrant green at the moment.

But back to the cats. As you may or may not have noticed, I have three. The eldest, and orange tabby whom I shall call O.T. here, T, the feral tuxedo in the middle, and B, the chubby, long-haired black cat rounding out the trio. At the moment, B is stuck inside with a plastic cone on (the poor thing!), so it's just O.T. and T prowling around the yard. It's fun to pick out their different personalities as I watch. And there's just something so graceful and natural about cats, and animals in general, that is relaxing to me. So I've spent the last half hour or so watching kitties prowl around the yard.

I promise, this isn't going to turn into a "all I do is talk about my pets" blog. As a matter of fact, I'll twist it a bit right now and go on about familiars. I've wanted a certified familiar since I started on this path. Since B showed up very soon after I began my studies (and he's a black cat, go figure), I was convinced for a while that he was my familiar. I'm not sure if it's because I've been away for three years or what, but we don't seem as in tune any more. He hasn't shown up to any of the magickal workings I've done in the last few weeks, and, honestly, seems to be avoiding me on occasion. So the question arises: how do you know when your pet is just a pet and when (s)he's a familiar? Have you ever had one change into the other?

Old Things

My sister is watching "How It's Made" on the science channel as I write this, and they just summed up the part of the episode on springs with the idea that "springs prove that some old ideas still work" or something of that ilk. Which, I found rather appropriate for this space, seeing as this is a blog celebrating The Old Ways. Though things have changed over the centuries, the basic ideas remain the same, more or less, and these beliefs still work today, with minor tweaking to be useful and more easily practiced in the modern world.

The point, though, is that even old things have their uses, and not everything becomes outdated with time. Take Brid, for instance, originally a Celtic triple goddess, now recreated into Saint Brigid, but still basically the same. Even Christianity couldn't wipe her out.

It's fascinating to take a look at the roots of your spiritual path. I'm studying the history of Wicca through the various forms of Paganism right now, as a matter of fact. Very interesting information.

Another sort of exercise for anyone who stumbles upon this. Call it a meditation, if you like, but it's not, really. Study the past of your path, make a list of the things that drew you to your path, whatever it is. Do these things have anything to do with the history of your spiritual beliefs (assuming you follow some sort of set system)? Take some time to think about the "old things" in your life. Are they still useful to you? How so? If not, what did they mean to you when you were using them?

Non-Sequitur

It's funny how certain clothes just feel Witchier than others, and how adding a scarf or something flowy adds to that magickal feeling. For instance, I got a beautiful scarf as a graduation present that's big enough to wear as a wrap skirt or a sari, should I choose to, and it's extremely soft, so it's comfortable to wear. And it's got all sorts of positive energies in it, so it's just one of those pieces of clothes that's absolutely lovely to wear. I bring this up because I wore it today (despite the heat that's moved in), and felt magickal all day. Well, more magickal than I have in a few days, at least. It was nice, given the fact that I was doing all sorts of mundane things.

Though I did get to go to a teahouse for lunch. That was fun. Except the bored trickster god sitting beside me, grumbling about my tea addiction the whole time. For the record, Loki would much rather have ale or mead than tea, and he doesn't understand my fascination with the stuff. Makes it fun when I talk about having a tea party for my birthday/Litha. He staunchly refuses to attend any ritual I perform where I drink "that disgusting stuff," though I'd say the same to him, if he invited me to a beer drinking party or something. Alcohol holds no interest for me, besides the occasional sip.

As I write this, I have a very warm, very happy cat on my lap (which makes it awkward to type, let me tell you), and both of my parents in the room with me. The good news, I suppose, is that they're not reading over my shoulder any more, like they used to do when I was younger. Makes it a lot easier to toodle around on witchy websites, do my research and post here. Though I still get nervous when they get up and walk behind me. Oh, the joys of living with parents who don't quite understand my spiritual path and have made no attempt to really try to get it.

To Do: Witch's Edition

Did I ever mention that Aphrodite is one of the handful of clinger-ons to  the The Pantheon? Because she's around on occasion, generally fluttering around when me or my friends develop a new crush on someone, and might as well be part of The Pantheon when that happens. Or, when things like the Lover's Moon come around. It certainly is amusing watching a goddess prance around the room like she's drunk, just because it's a night for spells and prayers directed at her and her love god(dess) kin.
I have to admit, I've been pretty lax when it comes to celebrating Esbats. In fact, the only reason I know tonight is the Lover's Moon is from a Wiccan community I'm part of, that's holding an Esbat celebration tonight. It's one of the things I want to get better at, celebrating the moon. You'd think I'd be good at it, what with having a moon goddess as the mother figure of my private pantheon and all. Just goes to show I'm full of surprises.

On the note of things I want/have to do I'm thinking about trying to take some tarot training and go for my tarot certification. Of course, that means running down to the local metaphysical store and picking up another tarot deck that fits the training suggestions better. The deck I have only has basic representations of the numbers and suites for the minor arcana, and the training I'm looking at requires detailed images for both arcanas. I'm pretty sure I'll wind up being one of those people who collects divination tools: I already have two decks of oracle cards, a deck of tarot cards, a set of runes and a pendulum on the way. Ogham is on the list, too. I also need to run out to my garden to gather the herbs for the Litha ritual I'm planning on attending.

Righto. Now I'm off for my nightly meditation!

Blessed be.

Still a Witch

Sometimes I have to remind myself that even when I don't do anything overtly witchy during a day, I'm still a witch. I still get up in the morning, ground, center and shield; I still meditate before bed; I still talk to the gods and spend a moment at my altar before leaving my room; I'm still magick.

Today was one of those days. I spent most of it working on my book and singing Broadway tunes. I almost felt, Goddess forbid, like a normal person! (No offense to you normal people out there; it's just not for me). But one of the things I'm working on is incorporating my spirituality into my every day life. Whether that means feeling a tree, or dancing with a god, or casting a spell, or simply taking a moment to feel the amazing energy of the God and Goddess that flow through this world. So, who's with me? Anyone else trying to mingle their spiritual and mundane lives? You don't have to be Wiccan or Pagan to do this, and I think it's a very good goal. It's a balance we all, as human beings, need to strive for. I challenge anyone who stumbles across this blog to try it, at least for a little while.

To Be a Tree

Though summer has officially been here since Beltane, today was the first day that really felt like summer for me. It was hot enough that sitting in the sun for more than a few minutes felt a little like frying, the grass was damp with dew, and I pulled the hammock out of storage for the first time this year. After a bit of reading (a fantasy book, if anyone's interested), I took a moment to just be. The clouds had begun to roll in and it was getting chillier, so I lay back in the hammock, closed my eyes and just breathed. I focused on feeling my own energy and the wind on my skin, and when I opened my eyes again, everything seemed so much more vibrant. The leaves were greener, the wind fresher, and I was calmer. So I took my meditation a step further and tried to connect with one of the trees that supported the hammock. Did you know that trees have heartbeats? They are very, very slow and very, very deep, but also, quite possibly, the most amazing thing I have ever felt.

So, today, I challenge you single reader to be a tree. Take a moment, or three or four if you can, close your eyes and simply let yourself be. It doesn't have to be a formal meditation, but if you want to make it one, be my guest. Focus on your breathing for a bit, count it out if you like, and try to feel your energy flowing through your veins. If you can or want to, let that energy branch out into the objects nearest you (this works best outside, I've found), and feel the energy in those things. Feel the life around you: the heartbeat of the trees, the joy of the grass, the determination of the weeds. Let that life flow through you, energizing, ground and centering you. When you're ready, very slowly and carefully pull your energy back into your heart, and come back to yourself. If you're out there reading this and decide to try this meditation, please let me know how it worked for you! I'm curious, because it was just what I needed today.

Adventures with Ai

Sometimes, I feel like Christine from The Phantom of the Opera: I have my own private voice tutor in my head. The good news is that he's a personable, friendly giant of a god with no psychopathic tendencies and no desire to marry me (that I'm aware of, of course). But the point is that being a singer and working with a bardic god can only help my voice. It's always amusing to be singing along with something at the top of my lungs and look around, only to see this big, bearded man grimacing in the corner because I'm super flat. Makes me much more aware of my key and my annunciation, at the least. And, since basically no one else interacts with him,  Ai's always around when I need music advice. Absolutely fantastic.

So, for all you other musical witches out there, I suggest looking him up. Or finding your own abandoned music god to work with, since I'm selfish and like having him around too much. If you decide to try working with Ai, remember that he's fond of honeysuckle, lavender, cinnamon, cloves, apricots, quartz, silver and your own creativity. Don't be afraid to blurt out a poem off the top of your head when he's around. He may be a bardic god, but that doesn't mean he'll judge you on your work. Only offer help.

*Wanders away singing "Angel of Music"*

Don't Forget

One of the things I've neglected recently is communing with nature. Of course, it's a little difficult during wintertime when there's snow on the ground up to my knees, but it's still something I've been missing. Until today, when I finally got up into the mountains. Went up to a friend's cabin for a few hours and just watched the birds fly around for a while and soaked up the sunlight. And, man, did it feel good!

So, short post today, but a reminder to myself and whoever winds up reading this: don't forget what your path is all about, whatever it may be. Don't forget to take the time to care for yourself, however selfish you feel. Seek out the things that connect you to the divine and hold them close to your heart. And always remember who and what you are.

I Am the Kick of a Salmon's Tail

Today, I have a song to share. It's been stuck in my head on and off for weeks now, and I find it appropriate to post it here: "Mother Earth's Revenge" by Karan Casey. I've included a mediocre recording (because it was the only one I could find), and the lyrics, because it's rather hard to hear them in the video.

I am a hawk on a mountain side
A crashing wave on a winter's tide
The breeze that blows on a tall ship's sail
I am the kick of a salmon's tail

I'm up above and I'm down below
I'm black and white, I'm sand and I'm snow
I'm all around and I live within
I'm mother earth, the spirit in all living things

I'm winter white, oh I'm autumn gold
I'm summer's bloom, I'm spring's new soul
I'm every season with the birds that sing
I'm mother earth, the spirit in all living things

But you cut down the trees
Your fumes, they choke the breeze
You burn the world for oil
And you poison the soil

So I'll flood the plains
I'll drown you in acid rain
I'll pour forth a curse
And return you back to dust

When lightning strikes, well, you'll know I'm near
You knew the beauty, now feel the fear
Your storm rolls in, well, you better hide
I'll make you wish that you weren't alive

I am a hawk on a mountain side
A crashing wave on a winter's tide
The breeze that blows on a tall ship's sail
I am the kick of a salmon's tail


So why do I find it appropriate for this blog? A few reasons, actually. Let's start with the format of the song. In one of the creative writing classes I took, we were asked to write an "I am" poem--a piece with no rhythmic patterns necessarily, and no rhyme, but the repetition of "I am" at the beginning of every line. It was a surprisingly powerful experience, and I've become rather fond of "I am" poems. If done right, it really connects the reader and the writer with the things at the ends of the lines. In addition, this song includes all sorts of natural imagery, which ties in directly to the spiritual practice of most Witches (if it doesn't, you may consider rethinking your spiritual views).

And, I think, the reason it's been sticking with me so much lately is that the God and Goddess are also all these things: the hawk, the salmon's tail, the wind, the sea. So, whether Casey meant it or not, she is tying the singer of the song (and the listener) with the divine--and a rather non-subtle jab at what humanity is doing to the environment, but that's not really the part that interests me. I just find it fascinating that such a simple structure, when really studied, can be so profound. This song is a reminder of something I try repeat to myself every day: "I am part of the Divine; I am a child of the God and the Goddess, and I am a goddess in my own right."

I suppose I ought to add "and I am the kick of a salmon's tail" to the end of that. 

Odd Timing

I had something wonderfully Witchy to say today and by the time I sat down to write this post, it seems to have completely slipped my mind. So, I suppose, I'll just write and see if I can remember what it was.

The Pantheon and I have decided that my gut likes to lead me in new directions at the most inconvenient times. I seriously restarted my studies mere weeks before my college graduation; now I'm starting this blog in the middle of a family visit, my sister's high school graduation, and trying to figure out what, exactly, my new job requires of me. Yet, I know better than to ignore the guidance of the stuff inside me. So here I am. Spewing randomness into the internet and probably getting more metaphorical "you're crazy" looks than you can shake a stick at. But I'm here. And that's what matters.

Today was a day for regaining calm for me. Brid and Artemis are absolutely wonderful for this, in case you were wondering. Lots of love and comfort from them (they're also both good for protection work, by the way, especially Brid, since she has a warrior aspect). I also realized today that I'm awfully fond of informal magick: things like anointing myself with bath water and asking the spirits of Earth, Air, Fire and Water to bless and aid me, without formally casting a circle or really using any special tools, excluding the bath salts, battery-operated candle and music I was playing for simple relaxation. I suppose it could also be considered spontaneous magick. Regardless, it seems to be my method of operation, for the most part. Don't get me wrong, I'm perfectly capable and rather enjoy formal spellcasting, I just seem to do a lot more of the on-the-fly, make-it-up-as-you-go sort of thing. And The Pantheon assures me that that is just fine.

And now I've been staring at this screen for what feels like ages, trying to figure out what else to say today. I haven't remembered what I set out to write, and it's rather a lot later than I thought it was. So I suppose we'll bid you single reader (if we're lucky) good night and we hope to see you tomorrow.

Introducing the Pantheon

Since I'll likely be talking about them a lot, I suppose it's only fair that I devote an entire post to introducing what I'll be calling "The Pantheon," the deities and other magickal creatures that tend to hang around me and my house. In no particular order:

Loki: If there's one thing you ought to know about Loki (besides the fact that he's the Norse trickster god and not as evil as he seems in the myths), it's that he strongly dislikes cats. Coming from a culture that reveres wolves and other canines, it's rather logical, but it does make it rather interesting, since I currently have three felines. The good news is that the cats don't seem to mind him at all, so the hatred is only one-sided.

Brid: An Irish triple-goddess of the forge, hearth, and inspirational fires, she's the big sister figure to The Pantheon. She's always around with a smile and a nudge to my creative work, and has a habit of standing around looking vaguely and mysteriously pleased with herself.

Mabon: As a god of youth and the sun, Mabon enjoys carousing and drinking. Surprisingly, he's likely the most raucous of the bunch, and undoubtedly the most annoying. He's very adept at pestering me until I do something, and has mastered the art of bribery. He also makes a fabulous scapegoat. Warning: when Mabon and Loki lean their heads together and mumble, trouble's afoot.

Artemis: The mother figure of The Pantheon, Artemis is the one trying to keep the rest of us crazy folks in line. Generally, she sits in the corner and shakes her head ruefully as we make various plans. She tends to disappear around the new moon (not such a big surprise, as she's a moon goddess), and is very fond of reminding me of all the positive things in the world, which I need quite a lot.

And, last but not least,

Ai: The generally forgotten-about Irish god of poetry and bard to the Tuatha dé Danaan (seriously, I've found exactly one myth about him, and no information on correspondences or anything), Ai is also the newest addition to The Pantheon. He's a big, cheerful fellow, who enjoys listening when I sing along at the top of my lungs to whatever's on the radio, and is always carrying an instrument of some kind. I have a feeling he and Mabon will get along rather well, when Mabon stops being disgruntled that I like Ai more than him.

Now, The Pantheon is not fixed, and is rather likely to expand as I continue my studies, but these are the key players at the moment. Not including a collection of minor elementals, faeries, a dragon or two, and various other magickal creatures. Overall, my life is rather more exciting than the rest of my household would dare to believe. That's what happens when you dance with the gods, I suppose.

Merry Meet!

Dia Duit and Merry Meet, my wandering friends.

For the last few days, I've had this urge to start a blog devoted to Witchy Things, even though I, honestly, have no idea what I'm going to talk about here. I've simply learned enough recently to know that I really ought to follow my instinct. Especially when I have several gods leaning over me and egging me on. You see, I have a rather...interesting relationship with the gods. In other words, at any given time, I have at least two or three deities crashing in my house. Which makes it rather strange living with my parents (this is totally what I got a college education to do!), who a) don't believe in gods in generally, really and b) don't exactly approve of my being a witch. They don't exactly not approve, either; it's kind of an awkward, implicit "as long as you're not an idiot, I guess we can deal with it" sort of thing. Trust me, though, I do not regret coming out of the broom closet to them. Just think how much more awkward it would be if I hadn't! All that trying to hide my witchy books under my bed (where there is already a rather wide collection of books), and no openly going to the metaphysical store on the weekends. Seems like much too much hassle to me.

So, that's me. Emer ní Brid, back from college and living with my family again, trying to practice my craft without making anyone else uncomfortable, and dealing daily with a plethora of pantheons. Oh, in case you were wondering, the gods that tend to hang around the most are Loki, Brid (obviously, since I'm calling myself "ní Brid," which means "daughter of Brid;" also known as Brigit or Brigid), Mabon, Artemis and, now, Ai (the Irish god of poetry whom no one has ever heard of before). It's like a party around here. A trickster, two warrior women, a sun god and a bard. And me, of course, stuck in the middle.

I suppose this blog will be a place for me to chronicle my learning and my interactions with the various gods. Some posts will be more serious than others, I'm sure. At this point, I've learned my lesson with planning things out too far in advance. So, here goes nothing. The Pantheon and I welcome you to Dancing with the Gods and hope you enjoy your time here!

Blessed be.
Emer ní Brid